Studio Gainax Month: Here’s An Anime Rap Battle!

Kanade Tachibana vs. Rei Ayanami

The Dead Sea Scrolls should have warned us, at least
That the world would be destroyed by an angsty hose-beast
You think you’re tough because your sugar daddy put you through the mills
But your Gundam’s got nothing on my mad Guard Skills.
You only fight to be appreciated… I’m a real hero!
You’re the oldest of five kids, but you’re still considered Zero!
It’s time to find out who’s superior, once and for all
Now let’s hear from the Ikari family’s blow-up doll.

I’m like episode 2, I’ve got an army of clones
And we’re about to gang up so we can crush this angel’s bones
You had a bad heart, somebody gave you a spare
But when he went to purgatory you were already there
He died so you could live… How the hell’d you die first?
Your story’s more confusing than Death and Rebirth!
While you wage a bloody war against a third-rate Suzumiya
I’ll be slaying angels to the tune of Ave Maria.

You’re such a boring NPC, social as a mountain goat
You should call your next motion picture “You can(not) Emote”
But if you’re putting up a front to intimidate me
Then you’re an even worse actor than Amanda Winn Lee!
I’m gonna do a huge favor for otakus everywhere
I’ll fly you to the moon, and then I’ll leave your ass there!

You hate my acting? You’re not even fit to be my rival!
Tell your VA to go back to American Idol!
I’ve been carrying this battle from the start, cause I’m great!
You’ve been like Otonashi’s sister, nothing but a dead weight!
I’m not a fan of Angel Beats, but I think it’s biggest flaw
Is that with lots of better characters, they made you the star!
The saddest thing about you is that you’re based on me
You’re the clone of a clone, and that’s the real tragedy.

Who won?  Should I ever do this again?
You decide!


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