1: You sometimes refer to yourself as your home state.
2: You understand why nap time comes before pants time.
3: You try to fix your car by talking to it.
4: You think Canada is Spanish for You’re Welcome.
5: You’ve tried to find Spanishland on the map.
6: When you’re in trouble, you blame your AI.
7: You’ve tried to pick up chicks in a tank.
8: Your favorite password is Password.
9: You’ve called somebody a cockbite before.
10: Whenever someone calls something pink, you correct them and say it’s lightish red.
11: You always have at least ten dollars on you, just in case.
12: Your baby’s first word was Shotgun.
13: You have 40 different Zombie survival plans.
14: You’ve gone to Taco Cabana just to hear the music.
15: You can’t tell the difference between orange and yellow.
16: You’ve tried convincing your friends to play Grifball with you.
17: For Halloween, you’ve dressed up as El Cheapo, The Human Coupon!
18: You refer to Red Bull as Oblivion.
19: You sometimes confuse the words “pacifist” and “pedophile.”
20: You’ve accused a bird of fucking with you.
21: You’ve hurt yourself slipping on the spleenball.
22: You’ve summed up someone’s story by calling them a gay robot.
23: You think Roosters have teeth.
24: You’ve practiced Sarge’s “Stop, drop and roll” technique.
25: You think pirates have a southern accent.
26: You punch people when you hear the word “dirtbag.”
27: You sometimes answer questions by saying “Honk Honk Blargh.”
28: You go door to door, spreading the good word about The Flag.
29: When you go camping, you call it a legitimate strategy.
30: You invited friends over, with pizza and everything, just to watch the next season’s trailer.
31: You suck up to your boss, but only so you can be in the running for his job.
32: You’ve thought about joining the army for a laugh.
33: You laugh whenever you hear a story about a church in Texas.
34: Your shopping list has headlight fluid listed on it.
35: While playing Halo, you use terms like Puma, Dibs, and Le Pesado.
36: Whenever you stub your toe, you beg your friends for some Aloe Vera.
37: You think electricity is some kind of invisible magic.
38: You scour Halo for a Ghost Bullets upgrade.
39: You tell people you hate babies.
40: You’ve tried to track down Donut’s fanfiction.
41: You’ve added “Bow-chicka-bow-wow” to your vocabulary, and not because of Mike Posner.
42: You won’t use the plasma pistol out of fear for your reproductive future.
43: You faithfully follow the vowel diet… By eating Oreos.
44: You still wonder whether command wanted to promote Tucker or Church.
45: You’ve tried to convince the dictionary people to change the spelling of caboose to cabose.
46: You refuse to live in Florida, just in case.
47: You’ve fantasized about taking invisible naps.
48: You refer to Wal-mart as “Blue Base” and Target as “Red Base.”
49: You can’t talk without bobbing your head up and down.
50: You sometimes wonder why we’re here.